Coping with grief and pain…

Pain is a mordant to memory. It fixes precious memories and lessons into our minds. It fixes events into our souls. Fortune Tellers like Miranda are full of ‘home truths’; so here are a few ideas for you if you are recently bereaved or you are living a daily routine; whilst someone dear to you is fighting a disease or coping with the process of dying.

It is not an alternative to the support of your family, your own priest or pastor; and your friends – remember to keep them close; and keep on reaching out to them.

If you face a daily schedule of dealing with this kind of emotional pain there is a special memory jogger to help you: HALT

Hungry* That moment when you have forgotten to eat in your desire to get through a “to do list”. Low blood sugar moments when your body needs food for fuel. Good food.

Angry* That moment you are about to burst with indignstion when a mindless stranger pushes past you at the check out or ignores your polite request.

Lonely* That moment you feel you have the world in your shoulders and you havent spoken to anyone who will listen for days

Tired* You have been pushing yourself to the extent you feel your eyes glaze over like Garfield the Cartoon cat.

They spell HALT meaning stop. If you have more than one of these physical warnings while you are being a carer for someone you love it is time you called in some help and administered some self care. Have a snack or more importantly a proper meal. Do it for yourself.

When my Grandfather Gordon was dying; it was a long death and took several weeks in a wonderful hospice in Cheltenham; my Grandmother took time to go to the Supermarket and get some of his favourite chocolste mousse. Not for Gordon as he was past eating but for me and her. We didnt eat it in front of him; but that chocolate mousse gave us the strength to be cheerful and loving when all we could do for him was moisten his lips and help him rinse out hid mouth when he could no longer swallow. It helped us to have the strength to surround him with love when we felt close to defeat.

Take a walk or stop and look at nature..a flower..

When you feel angry go and make a bed. Give the pillows a good thumping. Ask Archangel Michael to give you some strength. Talk to friends you trust. Pick up the phone. Go gor a walk in nature. Pray. Talk to God.

When you feel alone talk. Talk to the people in your locsl shop. Ring your children. Visit a friend. See your Pastor. Go to Church and stay for Coffee.

When you are tired ask for help. Get someone else to take over and get that sleep.

Remember also to keep tslking to those who have passed over. They are there for you too. And if you talk to them the signs will ce back to you.

No one is alone..in this World ..or the next…

Miranda of Margate

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